9 Important Features of Healthy, Happy Relationships

For Healthy, Happy Relationships, here are some basic guidelines for reference. They are in alphabetical order only, not order of importance.

Acceptance: Don't try to change someone. This is a must. If a person really wants to change, that person will need to be motivated and take action. Period. Also regarding acceptance, accept limitations. He is not Superman; you are not Wonder woman. No one is perfect; so do not expect perfection. Accept the little flaws that come with each person. You accept theirs; they accept yours. That's life!

Bonding: Bonding with another person generally does take time.

Communicate: talk, listen, share the good and the bad, ask questions, compliment instead of nag or insult. In short be a friend; make a friend. That is healthy. If this bonding is lacking, it may mean professional help is needed (like a counselor or therapist) or it may be time to move on to healthier relationships.

Communications: Be open to the other person. Check judgmental attitudes at the door. And give chances. Be fair, flexible and friendly. If and when things get out of hand and it is your fault, apologize and ask forgiveness and move on. Similarly, be acceptable to apologies and grant forgiveness, too. Life is too short to stay focused on the negative too long. No need to deny it; face it, deal with it and move on past it to improve and strengthen your relationships.

Dependable: Be a friend; i.e. be dependable. Things happen from time to time and cancellations are a part of life. But on the whole, if you say you'll do something, do it. Take responsibility for your own actions.

Expectations: Movies, romance novels and television shows often portray life, especially human relationships, very differently than it is in the real world, this is no secret. How many people really always look like movie stars, have zero health ailments, endless income without hardly ever going to work, fabulous cars and homes, friends and family who totally adore them and come to their beckon call, no long-term problems because they all end so quickly, etc.?

And who can battle serious issues like one person having an affair with someone else, and wrap the whole storyline up in two hours? Get real. Expect a little less than the media portray and learn more about humans by joining the real world scenario.

Be Flexible: Keep a little mystery in the relationship. Juggle your schedule and invite the other person to a surprise picnic or walk at a local public park area.
Goals - People usually have some goals together over time. Develop some together. Toss what no longer works, what you outgrew or what may no longer seem important or is finished. And then inherit or create new goals. Working toward a common cause like saving for an annual vacation or a new garden area can help people grow together.

Health: Take care of your own health and encourage others, too. Even in this day and age of cable television with movies and the Internet available 24/7, it's still amazing the number of people out there who can't "Just say no" to unhealthy behaviors like smoking and drug abuse. Don't be afraid to share your healthy views and encourage healthy choices and living.

Intimacy: Closeness with a person takes time to develop. And there's more to intimacy than physical contact. Intimacy can mean a hug during a tough time, a smile of encouragement in the face of adversity and compassion when you least feel like giving. Don't abuse or take advantage or the other person. And don't let yourself be abused or taken advantage of. Intimacy takes commitment and sharing.

The Forgotten Art of Kissing

Sleeping Beauty knew the power of a kiss. Fated to sleep for a hundred years, she was awoken from her trance by her Prince's lips, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Kissing, snogging, smooching, is an integral part of fairytale mythology, romantic novels and famous films. Who can forget Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in the dying moments of Casablanca?

But in Western sex-obsessed society, kissing is overlooked as an end in itself. Be honest. When did you last enjoy a really passionate pash?

"Many people, particularly if they're in a long-term relationship, often skip the kissing stage when they begin to make love," says Susan Quilliam, author of Women On Sex. "But it's such a shame—kissing is one of the sexiest, most exciting and intimate things a couple can do."

The deep tongue kiss can be a second penetration, while a light kiss or a brush with your lip across a partner's neck, shoulders or back can spark a rush of erotic reactions through their body. That's the beauty of kissing. It works in all sorts of places.

As Alex Comfort, in The Joy of Sex, writes: "If you haven't at least kissed her mouth, shoulders, neck, breasts, armpits, fingers, palms, toes…you haven't really kissed her."

The way we kiss – like the way we make love – can, over time, become habitual. And with habit, our sensations gradually shut down. So the answer is to shake things up a bit.

"Be inventive," Olivia St. Claire urges in 203 Ways to Drive a Man in Bed. "Use your lips, your tongue, your teeth. Press hard. Brush softly. Suck, lick, and bite. Linger lovingly, press passionately. And respond sensitively to his lip manoeuvres. This is not a solo tune but a lovely, harmonious duet."

When we kiss a lover for the first time our knees go weak and wobbly. It's a wonderful feeling and it's worth repeating. So rediscover the kiss, and explore the erotic potential of your lips. You won't need Online Dating once you get this right.

The 5 Things Men Won't Talk About When Dating

What is your partner really thinking when he goes quiet? What’s running through your date’s mind during the silences?

Having interviewed dozens of men on topics they rarely discuss, Maggie Hamilton, author of What Men Don’t Talk About, has discovered that men, like women, long to be heard, accepted, loved and understood by their partner.

“In our desire to grasp the differences between the sexes, we as a society have come to focus on what separates us, rather than what joins us together. The way ahead lies in realising that there are more qualities that bind us than separate us,” writes Hamilton.

Here are 5 things that, according to Hamilton, prey on men’s minds:

1. Just as women need tenderness from men, so men need tenderness from their partner. They find it difficult to ask for tenderness, and are often afraid that the softness from women will come with strings attached. According to Rowan, 41: “Women need to love themselves first, so they can give generously around them, because neediness is never a good basis for a relationship.”

2. Contrary to popular opinion, ‘sex’ is not the reason men seek long-term relationships with a partner. Instead, the men Hamilton spoke to talked about being ‘supported and held’, having ‘somebody to share things with’, ‘encouragement’, ‘truth, honesty and a friend’, ‘a soul mate’.

3. When it comes to love, women often assume men hold the balance of power. But in relationships, men are often intimidated by women because men perceive their partners as holding the sexual power.

4. Many men feel the strain of having to appear strong all the time. Our society assumes men can handle whatever situation they are in, but there are times they need the help and protection of their partner. According to Hamilton, men find it extremely difficult to ask for help.

5. Men feel pressure to perform sexually with their partner. However, rather than seeing this as stressful and undesirable, many men see this pressure as a good thing. Matthew, 27, says: “Yes, men are under greater pressure. But so they should be! Men of my generation are better educated in this area. It’s what is expected of us, and also what we expect of ourselves.”